Then You Look At Me 10

“If my parents don’t have any problem with it, then. . . . . I don’t have any problem with it too. . . .” Khushi said, as she blushed profusely.

All the Raizadas and the two Jhas smiled gleefully. Khushi lifted her eyes to look at Arnav with a sidelong glance. She saw that he was frowning. And all of a sudden, he rushed out of the room, his shoulders stiff. Khushi stood up too, and looked at his retreating back in confusion.

“Khushi. . . . I think you should talk it out. . . Whatever your differences are. . . “Anjali said, as she looked at Nani, who nodded understandingly at her, and then looked at Khushi. Khushi almost ran into his room, only to find his room empty. Then she remembered his garden. As she slowly moved towards the French windows, she saw him working hard with a trowel in his hand.

She silently descended the steps, to go and stand a few feet behind him, by the pool. “Why are you doing this?” he asked in a low, controlled voice. If it wasn’t for the fact that she was the only one there other than him, she would’ve thought that question wasn’t meant for her.

Arnav didn’t understand. He had become unreasonably happy when she had said yes. But he wasn’t sure if she had done that just for her parents’ sake, or. . . . . .

‘What were you hoping for?!’ a voice jeered in his head. He hated her for making him hope again. For making him wish that she had agreed to this because of. . . . ‘I hate her!!’ he thought.

 

Khushi’s shoulders slumped, as she realized he didn’t want this. She said in a small voice, “You don’t want this marriage. . . .”

“Answer me first, dammit!!” He said through gritted teeth as he threw the trowel in anger.

She looked shocked and took a few steps backwards, looking down and gasping in fear.

Arnav sighed as he saw her frightened form, and ran his hands through his hair in frustration. Why had she done this. After all, she was the one who had insisted that he must refuse this! Now that she had agreed. What was the point of all this then??

“What are you doing Khushi? Why are you doing this?” He asked, looking at her, failing to understand this girl in front of him.

 

Khushi looked at him for a few moments, before telling, “If you don’t want this marriage, you know what you have to do.” She said in a voice, void of any emotions. She was about to go away, when he grabbed her shoulders, and shook her.

“Just who the hell do you think you are?! I am NOT done talking! You were the one who practically begged me to reject this proposal. Because you had so many alleged dreams. And now what, Khushi?? Why did you agree?? Can’t you say a simple NO?!”

Khushi pushed at his arms and finally freed herself off his grip, as something snapped inside her. She wasn’t used to getting yelled at! And certainly, not from him. “NO!! I can’t say it to my parents, alright?! Whatever I am today, its because of them! And I will never, EVER deny them anything! You got it?! And why on earth are you bothered about me so much for?? It takes a single NO from your mouth to stop this marriage. You might as well go ahead and say it then . . . .”

Arnav was left dumbfounded. What she said was true. He still had the option of telling no. Then why hadn’t he?? And what did she say? She wouldn’t deny her parents anything. Was that the only reason why she had agreed to marry him. This fact bothered him a lot. In fact, it hurt him a lot. . . . .

 

Khushi ran out of his room, and out of Shantivan. Luckily, there were no one who saw her run away. She felt suffocated. She didn’t want to answer anybody’s questions, she didn’t want to listen to anybody right now. She had to be somewhere alone for a few days! She reached home and started packing her bag. Garima and Payal, who saw this were scared out of their wits. Garima asked, “Khushi. . . What is all this? Why are you packing your bags??”

“I am going home, amma” Khushi said, referring to her birth-father’s mansion, which was in Bangalore. She had inherited all her father’s assets from him when she had turned eighteen.

 

In her hurry, she didn’t even look at Garima’s hurt expression. Khushi was behaving as if this wasn’t her home. Though, what had gone lacking in her and her husband’s love towards Khushi, Garima didn’t understand, as she saw Khushi go away.

Her luck seemed to be in her favor as she stepped out of the plane, and had reached home. Her papa’s home, her home.

 

Rangamma, the housemaid was flustered to see Khushi suddenly. She told Khushi, that if she had informed her beforehand, she would have arranged someone to pick her up. Khushi brushed off her concern, as she went to take a shower. She came out to be enveloped by the familiar aroma of the numerous dishes that she had loved in her childhood. She felt an odd sense of deja vu fill her up. Though she couldn’t help but miss Arnav. How would it be, if she had Arnav by her side right now? She shook her head, as if to clear her head of his thoughts.

Khushi sat on the kitchen counter, having her fill of all her favorites. She thought of Garima and a pang of guilt took over her. She called Payal, not minding the the time, and explained what all had happened. Payal listened to all this silently, and said, “Look Khushi. If you feel better staying away, then fine. But don’t you think this will give him a wrong impression??”

“What do you mean, jiji??” Khushi asked in confusion.

Payal sighed as she answered, “Khushi, don’t tell me you still want to marry him just because amma and Bauji told you to. You want to marry him now, isn’t it? Tell me the truth Khushi. . .”

“What difference does it make jiji? He doesn’t want me. . .” she said and her voice broke at the last word.

“Khushi!! I thought my sister was a fighter!! What difference does it make?! It makes all the difference!!” Payal tried to make her kid sister see some sense.

“Jiji. . . Please. . . No. . . I’ll. . . I’ll talk to you later. Just tell Amma Babuji that I’m fine, and handle them. . . Bye. .” and she cut the call.

 

All of a sudden, Khushi felt exhausted. It looked like she didn’t have it in her to fight against this situation. She went to her room, that was hers in her childhood. Oddly, it didn’t seem so comfortable anymore. . . She took her pillow and a rug, and roamed from room to room, trying to find a comfortable place to sleep in. Finally she came to the living room, and sat staring at her parents, who were smiling down at her, from the big, framed picture on the mantel piece. She finally cried herself to sleep, on the couch.

 

—ooo—

Payal waited until a proper time, and called Aakash to tell him that she would be coming to their place, and that she wanted to meet Arnav and no one else. To say that Aakash was shocked was an understatement. Payal, who never even called his Bhai with his name, wanted to meet him?

Aakash waited near the gate, and took her through the side door, which directly led to Arnav’s garden. Arnav was about to go to take his shower, when he heard a knock. He was surprised to see Aakash and Payal standing outside the doors leading to his garden.

He frowned as he opened the door for them. “What are you both doing here??”

Payal had had it till then. First of all she was mad at Khushi for hurting her parents as she had. But she understood Khushi’s situation. What was with him?? Khushi was young, and though she hated to accept it, she was still naive. But not him! Not Arnav Singh Raizada!

“Do you want Khushi or not?” she asked, her voice laced with exasperation. Both Aakash and Arnav were shocked to see the innocent Payal, talk like this!

“What??” Arnav asked.

She took a deep breath before she answered, “Khushi left because she thinks that you don’t need her!”

“Left?! What do you mean left??!! And where did she leave to??” Arnav poured a torrent of questions on Payal. Payal, in turn, shoved a piece of paper, having the address of Khushi’s home, and said, “If you want her, GET her!” she said, and left!

 

—ooo—

 

Khushi woke up in the middle of the day. It was her stomach which had growled, complaining that it was put out of duty for more than a necessary number of hours. She went to the kitchen, drank a glass of milk, and came back to the living room. She sat on the couch and hugged herself, as if trying to console her mind. Payal was right. Khushi was never the one who squandered in self pity. What had happened, then? ‘Arnav happened!’ a voice came up weakly with the answer, in her head. She groaned, as she again lied down.

 

—ooo—

 

Arnav sat in a plane, traveling towards Bangalore, thinking why and how she had become such an important person in his life. He remembered all the things that had happened since he met her. He observed the tiny, little changes he had gone through, without his own knowledge. Yes. He had changed. ‘No. . No. . You were MADE to change. What happened Arnav Singh Raizada?’

Love? Did he dare enough to think he had fallen in love?? He closed his eyes in surrender.

 

—ooo—

 

Khushi was woken up when her cell phone rang. She opened her eyes, and she widened her them to look around. Her eyes were puffed with all the crying. “Hello??” she answered groggily.

“I see you are catching your forty winks!!” accused Arnav’s voice from the other side. She woke up completely, and stiffened at that. She saw the time, and it was 4 p.m. She realized she had slept for almost 12 hours!

“Won’t you speak to me??” Arnav’s voice seemed to coerce her, as her eyes filled up again.

The door bell rang, and she got up to open the door. Arnav stood there.

Khushi turned her back to him. “Go away!!” she muttered.

“You don’t even want to see me??” He asked, his voice showing the hurt.

“I don’t want YOU to see ME!” she said irritatedly.

“Why???” Arnav asked in a puzzled voice.

“Because I’m a mess!!! My eyes feel as if someone has stuffed cotton in it!!” she said in exasperation.

Arnav started laughing at that. Trust Khushi to think of her “STUFFED” eyes, at a situation like this!! Khushi faced him again, and glowered at him. Arnav noticed that she had cried a lot, and his heart twinged with guilt as he realized that it was because of him, that she had cried her eyes out.

Khushi again turned away from him and asked him, “Why are you here?”

Arnav took a step forward and entered the house, and sat on the couch where she had been sleeping. Arnav turned to look at her, and said, “We need to talk. Freshen up, and then we will. . . . . .”